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Just give me simple.

No, I am not a minimalist. I own 5 mascaras;  my nightstand is a cluster-box of tissues, magazines and eye creams, and I own several journals because my thoughts are so messy they need to be compartmentalized.

I mean simple, like light and easy.

Simple, like when I shop at your store and head to pay, please don’t make me dread the check-out. I don’t want to hear about your credit card offer, I don’t want to be asked to donate to your cause, and I don’t want to be marketed for your next incentive. Just let me make a peaceful exchange.

Simple, like when I go to make a deposit, please just let me do my business. I don’t want to hear about your new rates or your loan opportunities. I just want to bank. And then, I want to drive away.

I want to do what I came to do, in peace, and chat it up with the friendly person who is helping me. I want to be able to ask her how her day is going; I want to make this sale the easiest and most lighthearted experience of her day.

But I can’t. Because she is bound.

You can see it in her eyes. She hates reading the script. She hates it so bad. She loathes the impersonal chatter and agenda laced conversation. I want to cut her off sympathetically and say, “Shhhhh… there, there. You don’t have to…It’s ok.” But she can’t stop.

Somewhere in the world some fool in a suit, sitting behind a desk, thought it best that in every single one of her human interactions, she behave as robotic as possible and with the least bit of human connection. Because this is the way to profits and growth; this is the way to success.

The truth is, Mr. Businessman, all I see is striving and desperation. All I see is a last-ditch effort to get more out of me, the consumer. It’s getting old and it’s getting obnoxious.

simpleAnd another truth, Mr. Businessman, is if you would actually spend your time and energy on creating a thriving culture for your people, invest in quality goods and services, and work at making your consumers experience a little more peaceful and little less intrusive, it is there you will find profits and success. I will be eager to visit you again, and I will tell all my gal pals about you.

If I want to experience the chaos, the showmanship, the fake and the scripted – I will scoot on over to Vegas for the weekend and come back wonderfully spent. But, if I leave your institution, your business, your church or your service establishment, and I am exhausted from all the ways you “performed” for my time, treasure or talents – I will begin to dread my visits. And it’s only a matter of time before I …just… can’t…any….longer.

The sad part is that I’m having to tell you this. You are not inquiring of me.

But the saddest part is that when I do become vulnerable and step out to tell you these things, without your invitation, you generally do one of two things: you either tell me that I should maybe visit that “other place down the street – they may better suit me”, or you simply do not reply. Crickets.

Mr. Businessman, please give me simplicity, authenticity, and transparency, and you will win my heart. From recession to economic surplus, you will have my devotion. Let your burden be light. Stop over-complicating things and creating miserable experiences for everyone involved.

Just give me simple.

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